Copyright–Renee Heath
This is my story for Friday Fictioneers this week. This is a weekly challenge to write a story in 100 words with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s supposed to follow the picture prompt for the week. The host for the challenge is the talented and gracious author, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the picture is a photo supplied by Renee Heath. Thanks, Renee.
For everyone’s information, I just wanted to add that last week I was having a problem of my comments disappearing from the blogs of other Friday Fictioneers. I went to the Help section of my blog and typed in the problem. A Staffer with the title “timethief” replied and told me to provide links to the posts where my comments disappeared. She said she would tag the thread for a Staff follow-up and to be patient. I made note of the next several comments of mine that disappeared and gave her the information for the blogs and my URL and email address. I waited for some hours and the problem was solved. I want to thank “timethief” and the other Staffers of WordPress.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/2-may-2014/
Genre: Horror Fiction
THE CANDLE by P.S. Joshi
My pal, John, and I were camping.
He said, “Got a ghost story?”
I said, “Yeah, a real one. You know the old Maubry mansion? In ’86 my pal Frank and I snuck out one night and went there.
“That watchman, Hansen, used to sleep almost every night instead of watching. We looked at the windows and noticed a lighted candle at one. We ran home scared.
“Next day we asked Hansen if anyone ever got in there.
“He said, ‘Nah!’
“Then took us into the room with the candle. That candle was covered with a thick layer of dust.”
Nice ending. I love a good ghost story. 🙂
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Thanks, David, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 It’s kind of hard to scare with 100 words. 🙂
Susan
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Ah. what a creepy ending.. a true will o’ the whisps.. great take… as for comment, sometimes the spam-filter decides that you are a spammer (which you are not).. this has happened to me also.. but as long as one regularly check the spam filter the comments will be found. I found a few of yours as there and they are now fully visible.. and no more problem..
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Thanks, Bjorn, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 Thanks for the advice on the spam filter. I never thought to check my own spam filter if that’s what you mean. I’ll check it in future. 🙂
Susan
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The good thing is that once a person is approved from the spam filter there will be no more problem
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Thanks, Bjorn, I appreciate that information. 🙂
Susan
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Oh that’s a nice ghost story, well done
Dee
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Thanks, Dee, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
Susan
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I like the voices of these two guys – I can really imagine them sitting around the camp fire swapping stories.
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Thanks, Claire, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 I guess that’s the perfect place for ghost stories. XD
Susan
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Very sinister. Well done.
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Thanks, Sandra, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
Susan
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Sounds very realistic and a classic ghost story.
janet
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Thanks, Janet, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 I enjoy writing ghost stories. 🙂
Susan
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O.K. the hairs are standing up on my neck. Good story.
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Thanks, Alicia, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 I’m nowhere close to being in Stephen King’s league, but I enjoy writing ghost stories. 🙂
Susan
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That is a great ghost story!
I found one of your comments in my spam folder recently, but you had already entered a new comment on my site–or perhaps the WordPress support staff had found it and copied it into my blog post. This has happened to Friday Fictioneers before, and Rochelle asked us to periodically check our spam folders for such errors. (Good advice!) Sounds like they gave you good support 🙂
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Thanks, Jan, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 Also, thanks for the information on the Spam. Rochelle and Bjorn both mentioned the Spam. I’ll have to check mine hereafter. I did go back later to the blogs where my comments had disappeared. The problem had been fixed so I made new comments. Thanks. 🙂
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Dear Patricia,
Every so often I’ll find a valid comment in my spam folder which is why I check often. Beside the fact that there seems to be a fair amount every day.
Your story took me back to scout camping trips where we’d sit around the campfire and tell ghost stories. Then we’d be up all night because we were afraid to go to sleep. 😉
Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 My son told me they told creepy stories around the campfire at Boy Scout Camp. I’m going to check my Spam regularly from now on.
Susan (that’s the name I feel more comfortable with as I rarely use a first name except for signing checks, etc.. Thanks. 🙂 )
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Spooky. I’m not surprised Hansen chose to sleep.
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Thanks, Patrick, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. I know what you mean. It might be better not to know those things for our own peace of mind. XD
Susan
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Excellent! I haven’t heard a good ol’ fashioned ghost story in a while! 🙂 By the way (sorry, my inner editor is screaming), in your second sentence at the top:
“This is a weekly challenge two write …” Should be “to” not “two”. 🙂
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Thanks, Judah, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 Thanks a lot for letting me know about that mistake I made in the second sentence at the top. 😦 I fixed it. 🙂 I really appreciate being told when a mistake is found. 🙂
Susan
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Susan, me too. Even as a pretty good typist/editor, I still miss stuff on my pages. I would love for people to point out my errors – kind of like I ask my girls to tell me if I have spinach stuck in my teeth! 😉
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Nicely done – tricky to do in 100 words but you pulled it off!
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Thanks, El, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 CONGRATULATIONS again on getting your piece published. 🙂 I looked up that online magazine and subscribed to it so I can read your piece and the others.
Susan
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I hope that wasn’t white dust from a marshmallow on the candle. Geez, everybody is out to get poor Jake. Now, that IS scary! 🙂
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The next time I see the guys I’ll ask, but I don’t think that ghost was toasting marshmallows. Of course it might have been the ghost of a former Boy Scout or Girl Scout. In that case I can’t be sure. XD
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Well, I think you managed very well with getting the creepiness in, under 100 words! Well done!
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Thanks, Freya, for reading my story and commenting. I’m very glad you liked it. 🙂 I tired to be as creepy as I could in those 100 words. I’m glad I succeeded. 🙂
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I miss those ghost stories, best told at night with the lights off. This took me right back to those days.
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Spooky stuff! It’s probably best for Hansen’s health to keep sleeping on the job instead of investigating any creepy goings-on in the mansion.
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Thanks, Al, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 You could be right. He probably doesn’t want anything to do with ghosts.
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would this incident keep watchman hansen awake all night and earn his pay? i wonder. 🙂
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Thanks, Plaridel, for reading my story and commenting. Maybe Hansen isn’t worried about break ins because he thinks the ghost will scare burglers away. As long as nothing goes missing perhaps the family thinks Hansen is doing a good job. 🙂
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great mystery….
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Thanks, Ruth, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. I enjoy writing ghost stories. I love reading mysteries. 🙂
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This is just the kind of story that’s perfect for a camping trip, or late night sleep over! Well done, Susan. 🙂
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Thanks, Dawn, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. My son told me about the spooky stories they told in the evenings at Boy Scout camp. 🙂 These characters were grown men so I just had them on a camping trip. 🙂
Susan
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