IT LIVES!

copyright_bw_beacham

Copyright–B. W. Beacham

This is my story for Friday Fictioneers this week. This is a weekly challenge to write a story in 100 works with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s supposed to follow the picture prompt for the week. The host for the challenge is the gracious and talented author, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the prompt is a photo supplied by B. W. Beacham. Thanks, Barbara.

Again, for everyone’s information, be sure to check your Spam frequently as things get netted and put there that shouldn’t be there. I found some of the blogs I subscribe to in it. Others have found comments on the stories there.

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/9-may-2014/

Genre: Horror Fantasy

IT LIVES! by P.S. Joshi

I call it a fish because that’s as close as I can come. It lurks quietly somewhere below the sun-dappled, rippled lake surface. That’s a place you wouldn’t expect it and it likes it that way. It waits. Somewhere it waits for its next victim.

Others laugh but it’s seen me and I’ve seen it: twelve feet long, blue-green scales, massive razor-sharp teeth, bulbous eyes that show unexpected intelligence, five foot tall dorsal fin.

I don’t go on or near that lake now. People have disappeared from the village without a single trace.

IT LIVES! I TELL YOU IT LIVES!

friday-fictioneers

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84 thoughts on “IT LIVES!

    • Thanks, Bjorn, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ You wouldn’t catch me near that lake. I haven’t gone in the ocean since I saw the movie Jaws. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Kent, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ Your comment is hilarious. XD That would really scare the daylights out of a girl wouldn’t it. XD I’m fairly sure she’d disappear from his life really quick. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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  1. I liked the menacing undertone in this, you really believe the narrator, and then suddenly, those capital letters and exclamation marks at the end turn it around, so that the narrator seems unhinged.

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    • Thanks, Claire, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ By those last remarks I was demonstrating how the narrator was getting extremely frustrated because no one would believe him and people were dying. I probably overdid it. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Janet, for reading my story and commentating. I know what you mean. I haven’t been swimming in the ocean since I saw the movie Jaws. πŸ™‚ I feel sorry for the sharks though. So many of them are being killed just to make soup. They’re important to the chain of life. I doubt anyone is going to try and make soup out of the monster I wrote about. Like those old monster movies, maybe the army will come in and try to bomb him out of the water. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Dawn, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ Well, you’re a great deal smarter than the people of the village near that lake. πŸ™‚ Actually, probably most people are smarter than them. XD

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Marie, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ Well this monster could be a distant relative of the Lock Ness monster. It’s a great deal meaner though and seems to have a bigger appetite. XD

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Karen, for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ I think the people of the village don’t believe my narrator because they’re either in serious denial or extremely lacking in reasoning ability. Perhaps a combination of both. XD

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Rochelle. I’m glad you liked the story.:) I’ve stayed out of the ocean since the movie “Jaws” and I especially wouldn’t go near that lake. XD

      Susan (I hardly ever use my first name so I’m more used to the nickname Susan. Thanks. πŸ™‚ )

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  2. The waterways are getting their revenge! I wonder if pollution has resulted in a mutated giant eel, or if this creature has just surfaced from its previously deep and unknown existence, to devour the human population that is destroying its habitat? Hmmmm……

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  3. Dear P.S.,

    Go easy on the cut and paste of the first sentence in your answers to comments. (Thanks……….for reading my story and commenting. I’m glad you liked it.) I know it’s a tedious process, but…

    I want to know what lake you saw that critter in so that I can cross it off of my bucket list. The rivers of India are powerful in the spring and are slowly moving the Himalayas to the Bay of Bengal. Timeless place, your vast country. There really could be one of those creatures in the waters.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    • Thanks, Doug, for the advice. Is that better? I don’t “cut and paste” in that instance. I don’t know how to do it for the answers to comments. I just type it out each time. I know it might sound boring, but I thought it was the most polite way of saying thanks. Sorry about that.

      India isn’t actually the country I’m from. I’m an American married to an Indian. We moved here for our retirement since our Social Security goes a lot farther than in the U.S. My husband owns this flat. Our children were born, raised, and are living in the U.S.

      From what I’ve seen on TV, there could be one of those creatures living almost anywhere. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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      • Dear Susan,

        Sorry for jumping to conclusions. It is a disease I caught somewhere and cannot shake. What part of India do you live in? I’ve been there twice and have enjoyed myself each time. Again, my apologies.

        Aloha,

        Doug

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      • Doug, No need to apologize. Anyone could have come to the same conclusion. My husband bought this flat in the early 70’s as a home for his widowed mother. He came back to the U.S. and his brothr and his family moved in with his mother. The flat is in a large city in the western Ghats about 120 miles (300 km) from Mumbai. We met and married in 1975 in the U.S. and have two children who were born, raised, and now live and work there. We came here to live in 2000 when my husband retired as our Social Security goes a lot farther.

        I also appreciate helpful criticism of my writing as I’m still learning. I’m just writing at present for Friday Fictioneers and Adam Ickes’ Storybook Corner. Thank you for your interest.

        Susan

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  4. Ugh, yes I would definitely stay away from that lake as well! I’m not a fan of lakes anyway- who knows what lurks beneath the tangles of seaweed at the bottom?! Your description was very vivid and chilling, and I especially liked how you said the eyes showed unexpected intelligence. That monster is scary enough, but with the ability to scheme and reason, who knows what it’s capable of?! Awesome story!

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    • Thanks, Adelie. I tried to make the monster scary with a good description. I’m pleased it worked. I think we have a lot to learn about animal intelligence. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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    • Thanks,Dawn. I thought I’d try a different genre this week and experiment with description. I’m glad it worked. I think I can improve in that genre. I’m going to think about it. As you know, it’s hard to get a good mood with 100 words.

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Perry. I’m glad you liked it. As you know, the protagonist in those movies was never believed. People were seriously in denial even as they were being killed and/or eaten. Usually the protagonist saves the day “after” the army comes in and tries to blow the thing up, miserably failing. 😦 Actually, the creature may die from the pollution alone if there’s sufficient time. πŸ™‚

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Victoria. Well, in my story this thing exists. The people in the village are just too much in denial to admit it even as they continue to disappear. Isn’t that usually what happens in a horror story? It looks like the monster is smarter than them. XD

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      • hahah, denial will certainly be their downfall. And yes, in horror films especially, we scream at them “Wake-up, this is what is really happening” but they don’t listen – guess it wouldn’t be a horror if they got out of where they need to! πŸ™‚ I really enjoyed your story!

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  5. Thanks, Victoria. I’m glad you liked it. I’ve heard it said, “People don’t listen,” and it’s so often true. I read that to write a good horror story or novel, you have to have a few “Red Shirts”, named for the characters in Star Trek who wore red shirts and died so often. These guys have to be sacrificed quickly in your story to make it scarier. XD

    Susan

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    • Thanks, Dennis Russell. No, I would have never guessed that your first name was Dennis. It’s a nice name, however. It seems to be a tradition in our family since my dad used his middle name also.

      On the subject of the monster, I would guess it’s eaten his/her share of mother-in-laws along with other people. Indigestion and pollution will probably kill him/her off in time so they probably won’t have to worry. I’m surprised it hasn’t eaten that shopping cart. I made it smart though and that was probably a mistake. XD

      Susan

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  6. I bet others won’t be laughing much longer if the disappearances continue.
    I loved the line “it’s seen me and I’ve seen it” – it almost gives the impression of some sort of bond, like that between a hunter and a long-sought prey. I like to think that if your protagonist went back near the lake the creature wouldn’t hurt them – they have history. On the other hand, they might just get gobbled up πŸ™‚

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    • Thanks, Al. (My first reply seems to have been gobbled up like the people in that village.) I don’t think my protagonist is going to take the chance and go near that lake again. He’s smarter than the other people in that village. XD

      Susan

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  7. Oh, great. First there was Jaws and I stopped swimming in the ocean. Now I’m going to have trouble in lakes, too. That was excellent. Lucy

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  8. Well this certainly has many wondering whether to dip a toe into the waters! Now, whenever I wander to the lake I’ll be wondering — but that stems back in time to reading too much Stephen King.
    Nothing quite like a touch of the mind-fantasy of “did I really see this or was it a log or something” to captivate the mind. Well done πŸ™‚

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    • Thanks, Patricia. I bought Stephen King’s book about writing, but I’ve read a bit of his horror writing and it scares me. I’ve got too big an imagination and am too subject to nightmares to read that. Writing it is different. I suppose that’s because I’m in control and know what’s coming next. A friend of my daughter’s she acted with in Chicago is in the TV series “The Walking Dead,” so I watched one season of it because I’d met the young man. That was enough for me. She said she can’t watch it either. XD

      Susan

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      • Well Mr. King is well and truly the master of taking the everyday mundane and ordinary and blowing it out of our suspicious minds, into the wide world. I can’t read his books any more – well, I have trouble — I too can visualize it all too well. So as you’ve said Susan it is far better to create from our sources πŸ™‚

        Yes, if something is just edgy enough to catch the mind’s troubled spots, and if it is well acted and produced – then people tend to be hooked. A macabre fascination with the unknown and the “dark” perhaps? πŸ˜‰

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      • I agree, Patricia. It has a lot to do with makeup also. It’s all so realistic these days.Those guys are “really” good. Especially with the zombies. Too much blood and gore. O_o It’s bad enough reading about it, let alone seeing it. πŸ™‚

        Susan

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      • Special effects certainly have evolved to the Nth degree — couldn’t get too much freakier and frightening than it is now.

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    • Thanks, Sandra. I know what you mean. Every so often you hear of a shark attack. When my Mom went on a fishing trip to Canada once with my dad, he told her not to dangle her feet in the water when they were in a boat. Some of those fish look prehistoric and have teeth. Dad had a big stuffed one mounted and hanging in the basement.

      Susan

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  9. I always, always think twice when going into open water. I can still remember what it felt like to have a shoal of (admittedly harmless) fish swim around my legs when paddling in water as a little girl. Eugh! Well done πŸ™‚

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    • Thanks, Freya. I’m glad you liked the story. I know what you mean. My parents and I lived for years near a small lake. There was a bathing beach on the other side and we used to row across. You could sit in shallow water and the minnows would come up and bump against your toes. They were so curious. The only fear I had was of the depth as it was man-made and there were drop-offs. Once I learned to swim there was little problem. Before that, my dad made me wear a Kapoc life vest.

      Susan

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  10. I really like this. Your first line is a clincher. It grabs the reader and won’t let go. Actually, the whole first paragraph guarantees that we’ll read to the end. The other line that is particularly effective is “… it’s seen me and I’ve seen it …”

    I just saw a movie two days ago called “Evolution.” It was one of the more interesting and somewhat comical sci-fi movies I’ve seen in many years. It had a couple of creatures that I thought of when I read about yours. In fact, one of those creatures came up onto the beach and literally dragged a man back into the lake for dinner.

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    • Thanks, Sandra. I haven’t seen “Evolution” but it sounds interesting. In writing a monster story I thought I’d try something different from what I usually write. I’m kind of experimenting with different genres. It’s sometimes difficult to build mood with just 100 words. I’m glad you liked it.

      Susan

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    • Thanks, Etienne. I’m glad you liked the narrator’s voice. I can kind of understand his neighbors’ attitude. However, I would wonder, if I was one of them, why so many people had disappeared. πŸ™‚

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  11. Yikes…I believe you … very scarey. I can’t imagine what you could pull out of a free write here, but as flash fiction goes, it’s very convincing! πŸ™‚

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  12. Thanks Sarah Ann. I tried my best in 100 words to develop a mood. I want to work on writing monstor stories as this was the first time.I’ve tried one. I’m glad you liked it. The narrator usually isn’t believed in a horror story I guess; at least not at first. πŸ™‚ —Susan

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  13. I grew up near a lake and spent all my summers as a kid swimming and skiing but now you won’t catch me in one past my ankles. We live 100 yards from one now and it has alligators in it!! Nope… I go nowhere in the vicinity of the water unless I am in a boat!! Great story…:-)

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    • Thanks Courtney. I grew up near a small lake in Ohio so there were no animals or huge fish in it to worry about. Here near the city in India where we live, some men mistakenly dumped some crocs in a large local lake. The National Defence Acadamy uses that lake for water training for the military so now they have to watch out for the crocs. It’s also one of the lakes supplying drinking water to the city. I wouldn’t swim where there are alligators either. I’m glad you liked my story. πŸ™‚ —Susan

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