MIST AND MOON

fence, pasture & fog

Copyright–Erin Leary

Again it’s time for the new Friday Fictioneers’ weekly story.  This weekly challenge is to write a story with no more than 100 words. It’s to have a beginning, middle, and end and follow the pricture prompt given for that week. The hostess for this challenge is the ever gracious and talented author Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the prompt is a photo supplied by Erin Leary. Thanks Erin.

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/23-may-2014/

Genre:  Horror Fiction

MIST AND MOON by P.S. Joshi

Near this stream the bloodied body of the stranger was found, throat torn open. Only an outsider would dare wander here at night. Mist rose from the chilled water but the full moon still cast its relentless light upon the scene.

“Wolf,” they said. But they knew; they always knew. Heavy bolts were thrown and thick shutters fastened with strong latches every night.

She was the exception and wandered alone along the bank, fearing nothing but the glowing  sphere. She abruptly thrust her grizzled muzzle skyward and a tremendous howl rent the air, freezing the villagers’ blood. “Werewolf!” it warned.

friday-fictioneers

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80 thoughts on “MIST AND MOON

  1. Dear P.S.,

    I loved your story. Good atmosphere, just the right amount of fear and dread. Your use of the the words ‘circular’ and ‘sphere’ could be edited. They are at best redundant but in reality are two different things. Consider 86’ing circular. Works better without it and you can use the extra word to good effect elsewhere. (My apologies if you are not one of those writers who like constructive [intended that way] criticism.) Overall, very well written.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Thanks Kent. So many of those old movies have become classics. My son and I were both fans of old movies and one of his teachers in high school told him he seemed too young to have seen them. 🙂 He used to wear a felt hat pulled down in front like Humphrey Bogart. I’m glad you liked my werewolf. I don’t remember many female werewolves in the old movies but there’s no reason there couldn’t have been some. 🙂

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      • VERY cool, the classics. Used to watch them on TV as a kid. The closest I could think of as a female werewolf would be Curse of the Cat People. These days, a female werewolf would probably be in Marvel Comics. Not a bad place to be, really.

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  2. AH.. yes.. I can see that working.. the werewolf.. and wouldn’t that be the scariest thing .. knowing what you might do at fullmoon.. when you are exposed to that orb, the menacing means to transform you to a murderer.. chilling…

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    • Thanks Bjorn. You’re right. It would be scary to know what would happen to you. She’s an older werewolf though and no doubt sadly used to it by now. 🙂 I’m glad you liked the story. —Susan

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  3. Equal time for female werewolves is now an international law, Susan. 🙂 (Probably would be less ridiculous than some of the laws, but anyway…) Just the right touch of chill. I think I’d leave of the opening “Here” as you have another one soon after and it’s not really necessary. Just my $.02, though.

    janet

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    • Thanks Janet. I thought about the matter of female werewolves and it does make sense that there’s now a law covering that. 🙂 I seem to remember seeing a bit of a Twilight Saga movie on TV and there were female werewolves, so that’s been thought up. I dropped the opening “Here” and made a couple of other changes. Thanks for the advice. 🙂 —Susan

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  4. I like how the locals pretend out loud that nothing supernatural is going on, even though in their heart of hearts they know or at least suspect the truth.
    Great stuff, I love werewolves and such 🙂
    (Typo in first paragraph – “moom” instead of “moon”).

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    • Thanks Al. I fixed that typo in the first paragraph. Sometimes it takes someone else reading it to catch those things. I also made a couple of other small changes. I’m glad you liked the story. —Susan

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  5. but the full moom still cast its light upon the scene (I think you mean moon ) This made me “cold” from beginning to end. When you said she walked I imagined a beautiful woman until you said raised her grizzled muzzle. BBBbbrrr.

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    • Thanks Alicia. That typo’s been fixed and I made a couple other small changes in words that really didn’t greatly affect the story. When there’s no full moon she probably is a beautiful woman, although older. She’s hardened to killing by this time and has the whole village frightened. I’m glad you liked the story. —Susan

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  6. love the classic wolf story but what i like the most is the villagers’ denial that there’s something out there that’s far scarier… great atmosphere, great story! 🙂

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    • Thanks K.Z. I loved the way you used the mist in your story. Mist often seems to set the scene for fear doesn’t it. Also, even in real life people are often in denial so that fits in nicely. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Jan. I’ve never actually been to the moors but they seem to be used a lot in literature and movies. I’ve seen them on TV in movies but I’m sure I’d have to be there in person to fully appreciate what they’re like. I’m glad you liked my story. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Rochelle. She’s an aging werewolf and the terror of the village. She’s become used to killing. They’re the worst kind. O_o I’m glad you liked the story. I saw the mist and lonely location and thought “werewolf.” 🙂 —Susan

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  7. Liked that heavy bolt line a lot. I’d consider dropping that last werewolf line. I’m not sure it was necessary. Maybe you could add more uncertain in the “Wolf, they said line” make it seem like they are trying to avoid the truth slightly more? Just a thought.

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  8. Oh Susan, one of your best! I love the scene and atmosphere created here. I love everything about that final paragraph! Glad you took Doug’s advice, I think the glowing sphere really works, and anything more would have detracted. As is: chilling, brilliant!

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  9. Chilling stuff this week, Susan. I’m left wondering if the locals will ever do anything about the problem or if they are content to let the occasional tourist pacify her bloodlust.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

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    • Thanks Marie Gail. As in many horror stories, this takes place in a mountainous rural area. The young people have mostly left to find employment and the older people left behind are afraid and feel helpless to do anything. They have no money to hire outside help so just try to make do. The occasional tourist or vagrant who wanders in when there’s a full moon suffers the consequences. Perhaps one day a hero with a silver bullet will appear and put any end to the threat. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 —Susan

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  10. you set the scene well, Susan . . . the moonlight over the body, the anxious villagers and finally the lone werewolf. i’m staying away from this place. 🙂

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    • Thanks Sun. When there’s a full moon, I’m staying away from that place also. 🙂 I’m glad you liked the story. I’m trying to improve on my horror writing. It’s an interesting genre. —Susan

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  11. Quick! Someone call Animal Control! She must have missed the werewolf vaccine clinic. 😉 Kidding aside, the atmosphere was very heavy. I felt a cold, clamminess while reading it. {shiver} The use of “heavy bolts”, “thick shutters”, and “strong latches”, made me feel that this sort of threat was experienced before in the village. Take care. 🙂 Beth

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    • Thanks Blogging Disciple. Your comment was hilarious. I was laughing out loud. XD Yes that village is experienced in those attacks. It’s a remote area, as these places often are, and there are mostly older people there so they feel helpless. This is an interesting genre and I enjoyed writing it, seeing how much atmosphere I could get. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂 —Susan

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  12. Hi Susan. Good story with strong scene setting. The picture prompt this week couldn’t help but draw out a few horror themed stories, like yours and mine. Surprised there weren’t more of similar ilk.

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    • Thanks Weltchy. You’re right, that mist brought out the horror stories. I’m glad you liked mine. I worked on that mood. Everyone’s mind works differently and the stories reflect that. I enjoyed yours. It had a touch of mystery about it and I love mysteries. 🙂 —Susan

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  13. Mist and moon can be pretty suggestive for many things -actually I like both- horror tales included.
    I like the emotional setting in the village and in the character.

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