THE ARTIST

 

hokusai4rwf

Copyright–Douglas M. Macilroy

Again it’s time for the new Friday Fictioneers’ weekly story. This weekly challenge is to write a story with no more than 100 words. It’s to have a beginning, middle, and end, and follow the picture prompt supplied that week. The hostess for this challenge is the gracious and talented author Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week the prompt is a photo supplied by Douglas M. Macilroy. Thanks  Doug.

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/6-june-2014/

Genre:  Horror Fiction

100 Words

The Artist by P.S. Joshi

Brandon let himself into his aunt’s house  with his key.  He was an artist and his studio was in her attic. “Hi Aunt Nora,” he said as he passed her in the hall.

She smiled. “Hello there  Brandon.”

He felt great today and took the stairs two-at-a-time.

The doorbell rang. Two men stood outside flashing police badges.  Nora said, “Come inside,” and showed them to the living room.

“Have a seat, ma’am,” one said, showing her a drawing. “Do you know this man?”

She nodded. “That’s Brandon, my nephew. He’s upstairs.”

“Ma’am,” he whispered, “Brandon died yesterday. Hit and run.”

friday-fictioneers

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82 thoughts on “THE ARTIST

  1. I love the creepy, ghost feel of repetition when you get to the end and start over, then get to the end, without really having any answers. Good response to the picture within a picture.

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      • It does, doesn’t it? I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to write and shouldn’t be looking at other people I know! But it creeped me out. Maybe it’s just the storms we’re having here, but I was like … weird, otherworldly feeling. Looking in at someone looking in.

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  2. Dear Susan,

    Aunt Nora sees dead people that don’t know they’re dead. Great twist. I’d bound up the stairs too if I’d gotten past the dying part without knowing it.

    Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  3. Dear Susan,

    I thought I commented so if I’m in your spam folder…

    A rather chilling piece. I was a bit taken out by the switch from Aunt Nora’s POV to Brandon’s. If it were me I’d boil that sentence down to “He bounded up the stairs.” Aside from that very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Thanks Rochelle. I don’t know what happened. There were several comments made on June 5th that I wasn’t notified about. I just found them while double checking. Thanks for the advise. It’s kind of late to do much more to my story now, but I’ll be careful for the next one. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Eric. I’m glad the twist at the end worked and you enjoyed the story. He may take up residence in that attic. He and his aunt get along so well she can see him when others probably can’t. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Russell. Technically his essence was upstairs. His body wasn’t. You might say that was truly a technicality in this case. His aunt is apparently his only family since the police came to her. I suppose it might be a comfort to her to have him still “around.” I haven’t asked her so I can only guess. 🙂 —Susan

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  4. It definitely is spooky. Why did the spirit come like that? His aunt might get a attack..
    Sorry for feeling thus but you got me so involved in the story, couldn’t help it 😉

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    • Thanks Duskyisbeautiful. I don’t think he realized he was a ghost. I don’t think his aunt did either. I don’t have any idea what a real ghost might be like if they exist. I was using my imagine so anything is possible when you do that. 🙂 I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Vijaya. I’m glad my surprise ending worked. I saw “The Sixth Sense” and that was a real surprise ending. I couldn’t see that coming and it was chilling. The whole movie was scary and well written and directed. The actors did an excellent job also. I’m glad you liked my story. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Sun. I suspect Aunt Nora is a stronger person than people suspect. I think she’ll be okay. She might even get used to having Brandon there as a ghost. I’m glad you liked my story. 🙂 —Susan

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    • Thanks Lily. I’m glad the surprise ending worked and I’m glad you liked the story. Sometimes I write a longer ghost story for Storybook Corner hosted by Adam Ickes who also writes for Friday Fictioneers. Stories there run between 300 and 500 words per story, sometimes more. I wrote one last month titled, “Full Stop.” Adam also writes ghost and other creepy stories for the site. That site is like Friday Fictioneers but the stories are longer and writers have a month to submit their stories. A picture prompt is provided on that site also. 🙂 —Susan

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