Copyright — The Reclining Gentleman
Here we are all gathered in the virtual park, blankets spread on the lawn. We’ve come here with our gracious and talented hostess, author and artist Rochelle Wissoff-Fields, to share our original stories. It’s the weekly gathering of the Friday Fictioneers for the challenge to write a story with no more than 100 words. The story is supposed to include a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt for the week. The prompt this week was supplied by The Reclining Gentleman. Thanks R.G.
For any of you who would like to check them out, I have a number of boards on Pinterest. I’ve been collecting , among other things, a number of blogs and information on writing. The link is as follows:
http://www.pinterest.com/paulestasj/
The link to the other Friday Fictioneer stories is as follows:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/10/22/24-october-2014/
My story for the week follows.
Genre: Speculative Fiction
Word Count: 100 Words
THE BENCH By P.S. Joshi
It was a warm evening in June so I decided to go to the park. There were two benches near the small lake.
One bench was occupied by an elderly man. I came the next night and he was there again. On my way out, at the gate, I asked the park guard who the gentleman was.
“Mr. Donald Hitchcock,” he said. “He never speaks these days. Heard someone in his family died in April.”
Curious, I checked the old newspaper obits. It took a while, but I found the right obit.
“Mr. Donald Hitchcock died today, April 10, 2014.”
Musings on Life & Experience 
A little spooky .. but I like that your ghost lack any menace.. they seem to be just gentle visitors. But definitely I would be concerned finding that… 🙂
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Simply and elegantly crafted. Excellent. 🙂
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I wonder who he is waiting for?
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Ghost story! Well done. I would be very afraid.
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Perfectly written. I loved this – it sent a shiver down my spine as I read the last line.
Claire
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I really like how you’ve given the information about the death – it’s intriguing that the guard knows his name, and has apparently tried to speak to him, but isn’t sure exactly who has died. So much story in there. Donald seems a harmless ghost. I wish him well,.
Marg
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Now that’s spooky, subtle, and sweet all at the same time. Nice.
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A gentle story, with a slightly disturbing theme. I enjoyed the mental picture you conjured up in your preamble, of us all spreading our blankets on the lawn… quite apt. Now we’re all scurrying around trying to see what others have put in their sandwiches. 🙂
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Dear Sandra,
I really like your comment above.
Aloha,
Doug
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Why thank you Doug. Did you bring any wine? 🙂
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Spooky! I guess that was his favourite spot and he can’t let go, even after death.
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Thanks Ali. You’re right. I think he’ll be moving on soon, but it’s hard for him to let go of his favorite place. It reminds me of the funny part in the Harry Potter books where the old teacher goes on teaching even though he’s now a ghost. I’m glad I achieved the right atmosphere. 🙂 — Susan
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Dear Susan,
Like Claire, I felt a chill at the last line. Poignantly spooky. (Is that possible?) well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I’m glad I created the right atmosphere. I hope poignantly spooky is possible if I managed to achieve it.:D I’m happy you liked the story. 🙂 — Susan
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I expected to hear the music playing from Twilight Zone any moment!
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Nicely unexpected ending. Perfect for a dark and stormy day.
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Brilliant turnaround.. Loved the twist.
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Thanks Rajesh. I’m so glad you liked the story. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m happy I got the effect I wanted. 🙂 — Susan
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Nice twist at the end there, Susan. I like a subtly ghost story, and this one fit the bill nicely.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Yes, I thought it was poignantly spooky, too! Seems this picture is bringing out the harmless ghosts. 😉 Nicely done.
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I love how your story is spooky, but not really scary. It’s like you can’t wait to return to the park and talk to Mr.Hitchcock.
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That simple! Two thumbs up, Ruth!
Tay.
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Susan, I enjoyed the story. Would you clear up something for me (or several somethings)? You have three names in your address and also P.S. Joshi above. What gives? 🙂
janet
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Perhaps Donald was related to Alfred. I’ve heard the dead don’t always know when to go. This was a nice little pre-Halloween treat.
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Ooh, I like this, Susan. You should expand this one. I like Russel’s comment. Perhaps he was related to Alfred. Ha ha. Nice one!
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Ooh, I really liked that story. Great twist and a satisfying read.
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Poor Donald. Wonder if he ever acted in a movie made by his brother Alfred?
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Dear PatriciaRuthSusan or P.S.Joshi, Great story! Good Halloween trick-or-treat goody! Thanks! Nan 🙂
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Oh, that story sent a shiver down my spine, Susan. Good one!
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Dear Susan,
This was a pretty near perfect ghost story. Very well done. Atmospheric, sad and poignant. And very well written.
Aloha,
Doug
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This is more sad that scary, to me, Susan. The park must hold a special meaning to this man’s spirit. Maybe he has a date to meet there in the after life.
Ellespeth
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