THE GARAGE

 

claire-fuller-7 Garage

Copy–Claire Fuller

 

Here we are another week gathered together this time in a virtual cafe across from a small town garage. We’re together once more to discuss our original stories for the Friday Fictioneer’s challenge. Our talented and gracious hostess for this gathering is the author and artist Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The weekly challenge is to write a story with no more than 100 words. It’s supposed to have a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt for the week. This week’s prompt was supplied by Claire Fuller. Thanks Claire.

The link for all other stories is as follows:

http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/11/19/21-november-2014/

Genre:  Realistic Fiction

Word Count:  100 Words

THE GARAGE By P.S. Joshi

It’s still sitting there closed up. Maybe someday I’ll sell it. It was left to me in the Will so I’ll have to decide. Right now I hurt too much to think about it.

My brother John and his wife set out that sunny day last June on a planned picnic to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. There was little money to celebrate in a grand style.

They only got as far as Fenton’s Hill. A speeder came up over the hill at 90 mph and lost control.

I closed up the garage and it sits there. I’m still hurting.

friday-fictioneers

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31 thoughts on “THE GARAGE

    • Thanks Seumas. I’m so glad you liked the story. I decided to try for what some call “dark” writing today. When a writer gets used to it, he/she can cram quite a bit into 100 words. Some writers have difficulty writing a story in so few words. I have to work at writing longer stories, which I’m going to have to work harder at. I’m working on a memoir, but I’d like to try short stories. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  1. I like the symmetry of the hurt at the beginning and the end of this story – you tell us all we need to know. If I could offer a bit of concrit, it would be that the middle lacks the voice / emotion of the bookends, perhaps it would be stronger if you added some of that into the mix.
    I like how the garage stands to his grief though. Useless, but hard to part with. I’m sure we’ve all seen that.

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  2. Susan,
    I’m glad someone else went with the “abandoned” garage notion this week. That was what first struck me upon seeing the photo, but it ultimately took me elsewhere. Good, unique take.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

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  3. Susan, story details aside, I think this story is an age-old one. So often we’re not ready for the deaths of those we love, especially when they’re young, and whatever reminds us of them is so difficult to face. Well done!

    janet

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  4. So well-written — for me, it works just the way you’ve created it — with the cycle of hurt at beginning and end, and the matter-of-fact details in the middle. Any more of the emotional details and I think it might have been an emotional overload.

    Dark –but very well done. 🙂

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  5. Dear Susan,

    I read your story and all the comments. It is nice when a piece is so well written that the first few comments cover everything. For me, the overarching feeling was one of emptiness. You captured mood and moment well.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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