Copyright: Barbara W. Beacham
This is my weekly contribution to Monday’s Finish the Story, hosted byBarbara W. Beacham. Every Monday, Barbara supplies a new picture prompt along with the first sentence for the story. The original story to be written should have only 100 to 150 additional words. I’ve bolded the first sentence given with the picture prompt. Be sure to click on the little blue frog in the blue box, after clicking on the link, to read the other stories. The link for all the other stories is as follows:
https://mondaysfinishthestory.wordpress.com/2015/05/04/mondays-finish-the-story-may-4th-2015/
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Word Count: 3+15+150=168 Words
DEBBIE THE DOLL by P.S. Joshi
After losing her head, she realized that the rest of her body was falling apart. It was a good thing she snapped together like pop pearls.
The baby pulled Debbie apart about twice a week. It was always the same. Meg, three, would forget her on the floor. Gloria, ten months, would find her.
“Dolly,” Gloria would shout.
First, off would come Debbie’s head (pop), then her arms (pop-pop) then her legs (pop-pop). It was always the same. Gloria would then crawl away from the scene of the naughty act.
Meg would come back and start shouting, “Mom-e-e-e!”
Mommy would come and on would go Debbie’s head (pop), then her arms (pop-pop), then her legs (pop-pop).
Mommy would tell Meg, “Don’t leave Debbie on the floor.”
Meg, tears running down her cheeks and dripping off her chin, would say, “Yes, Mommy.”
One day Mommy left a lovely set of wooden beads on a side table. Gloria found them.
“Ooh,” she said. She pulled extra hard.
Delightful story, Suzanne. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the photo of the dismembered doll. This was very cute and so true of little people. They have to take everything apart.
LikeLike
Thanks, Diana. I remembered my daughter getting into my costume jewelry box when she was about three. She was having so much fun I just left her go. She’s always loved jewelry. I had to take out some chain knots though. I also remembered my daughter’s cat knocking over her guitar then running from the scene. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely story! I hope as Gloria gets older she becomes as adept at putting things back together again 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Ali. Let’s hope so. If not, she’ll have an extremely messy bed room, school desk, and home if she marries. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
A lesson in child psychology. Loved this.
LikeLike
Thanks, Yarnspinnerr. I’m so glad you loved the story. I had fun writing it. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gosh – do I remember those pop-beads. Mom had lots of them! Love your story Suzanne and how you wove this around young children and how they behave. Captured this perfectly! Thanks again for writing for the MFtS challenge! Stay tuned for next week’s challenge that will give your characters something to think about! Be well… ^..^
LikeLike
Thanks, Barbara. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I think quite a few of us had those pop beads. I love to write about children, and had fun with this story. I’m looking forward to next week’s story. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
It will be one that might make you think….How is that for a tease? 🙂
LikeLike
I gasped when I read she was taking apart the wooden beads. Seems like everything goes right into a baby’s mouth. Good story Suzanne!
LikeLike
Thanks, Joy. I think the baby will realize she’s made a mess and will try to get away from the spot before anything goes into her mouth. I’m so glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
What fun is a doll if you can’t pull off its head and arms? Such an enjoyable story, Suzanne. I may try this one 🙂
Ellespeth
LikeLike
Thanks, Ellespeth. I think the baby feels the same way. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the story. By all means do try this one. It took me a while to think up a story for that picture and first sentence. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
Well done!! I love the repetition and then the little surprise at the end. Not easy to do in so few words, but you succeeded. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Mary. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the story. I had fun writing it. I love to write about children. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good take on the prompt Suzanne ~ A very natural tale of an intelligent child taking things apart and putting them back together again ~ Well written 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, John. I’m so glad you liked the story. Perhaps some day the baby will be a scientist who finds how other things come apart and go back together again. She has to work on that “back together again”. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really liked this one. The pop-pop punctuation tied things together so well.
LikeLike
Thanks, TN. I’m so glad you liked the story and the way I filled in the popping sound. I had fun with that story. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved the pop-pop too. Great job, Suzanne!
LikeLike
Thanks, Olga. I’m so pleased you liked the story and it’s “sound effects” so much. I enjoyed writing it. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
Poor Debbie… what she had to endure. But the little ones do like to see how things work… Hopefully, she’ll move on to jewelry and leave Debbie alone. Love your writing style…
LikeLike
Thanks, Coastal Quill. Yes, Debbie is constantly “coming apart”. Mommy better be more careful where she puts her jewelry in future. I’m so glad you like my stories. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
A beautiful and sweet story Suzanne.
LikeLike
Thanks, Tribal Mystic Stories. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I enjoyed writing it. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ouch! That must hurt for Debbie. I enjoy reading these flash fiction that you write, Suzanne. Keep it up!
LikeLike
Thanks, Rosanna. Actually, Debbie is used to it and is plastic, so it doesn’t hurt. It is inconvenient though. 😀 I’m so glad you enjoy these little stories. I had fun writing this one. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLike
I know I have been reading too many worst-case-scenario short stories. I was expecting a ‘mommy’s little serial killer action figure’ kind of ending. I think my brain has turned gruesome.
LikeLike
Thanks, Kirizar. I can’t blame you since many writers favor writing those t;ypes of stories. If that’s their thing, more power to them. I tend to love humor and gentle stories. I have written some horror flash stories, but I don’t like to include child killers. I have more than my fill seeing stories in the papers. Gloria just needs her desire to pull things apart guided to more useful acts. She’s more curious than anything else, and that’s a good thing. Perhaps she’ll be a scientist some day. Of course, she might just like to tease her sister also. That’s just early sibling rivalry. 😀
LikeLike