Hilarious, D. Thanks for making my day with this piece. I thoroughly enjoyed it. So true.
As some of you know, a pervasive syndrome has troubled a segment of society for centuries. After years of research, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders finally classified these symptoms under the diagnosis: Writeritis.
Writeritis is defined as a persistent, maladaptive pattern of writing that leads to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by six (or more) of the following within a single month:
A marked craving for increased amounts of writing, and longer periods of time to write.
An unquenchable thirst for coffee.
Repeated efforts to cut down or control word count are unsuccessful.
Withdrawal occurs when writing is discontinued or suddenly reduced. Symptoms include shakiness, moodiness, and/or irritability.
A tendency to rapidly relapse into extreme patterns of excessive rewriting – even after periods of abstinence or control.
After writing, a compulsive urge to return and edit.
An inability to initiate household chores until a plot hole is resolved.
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