FREEDOM

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People boarding a bus, copyright-ron-pruitt

Photo Copyright: Ron Pruitt

Here we are again. This week we’re gathered at a virtual city bus station. Our hostess for this virtual gathering in the gracious and talented artist and author, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. We’re the Friday Fictioneers, and Rochelle is starting her fourth, hard-working year as hostess of this group. The challenge for each of us in the group this week is to write an original story with not more than 100 words. It’s supposed to have a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt provided for the week. This week’s prompt is a repeat, and was provided several years ago  by Ron Pruitt. Thanks, Ron.

To read the other stories from group members, just click on the link for the other stories given below, then on the little blue frog in the blue box. The link for the other stories this week is as follows.

https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/23-october-2015.

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100 Words

FREEDOM by P.S. Joshi

They got on the bus and found seats near the back.

It was the first time they’d traveled alone without a parent. Allowances had been saved for weeks for their trip to Centerville and back.

Their mothers thought they were at a school friend’s house. What an adventure, age thirteen and lunch and shopping on their own.

When they arrived, they chose a restaurant. They then ate until they felt stuffed.

After they paid for the meal, they had twenty cents left.

“Oh well,” said Lucy, “we’ll shop another time.”

Doris agreed.

Somehow, they could never save that much again.

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47 thoughts on “FREEDOM”

    • Thanks, Ali. I remember going shopping with a school friend when we were In 12th Grade. She drove a car. When I stayed with my grandmother one time, a neighbor girl and I took a city bus downtown and shopped. In neither case did we eat there. 🙂 — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Diana. I’m glad that story brought back good memories. I went a couple of times with friends. Once, while staying with my grandmother, a neighbor girl and I went downtown by bus. Another time, as high school seniors, a frined who drove took me and we went shopping. But living in the the country, most of my memories of shopping were when we lived in the city and I was younger. My mother would meet me after school and we’d take a bus downtown. If she was buying me shoes, she bring clean socks for me. 🙂 We’d shop, then eat at a favorite restaurant. I can still remember the taste of my favorite dish, a hot roast beef sandwith with gravy and mashed potatoes. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  4. Dear Suzanne,

    Sounds about right for thirteen-year-old girls. A couple of typo alerts: 2nd paragraph, I’m certain you mean ‘saved’ and not ‘savid’. And 4th paragraph, I’d use chose rather than choose to stay in keeping the tense of the rest of the story.

    Aside from those nitpicks, it’s a pleasant piece that sounds very true to life.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Thanks, Rochelle. I’ve fixed the typos. That “choose” was a typo too. I read that story twice and that still happened. Thanks for the alert. I’m so happy you liked the piece. At that age you spend well but not wisely. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  13. I love it. I think they might remember that adventure more for the food than for the missed shopping. I think the eating out without parents is giving more of a ‘grown-up’ feeling.

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  18. I remember my adventures at that age usually involved going to shops and putting together (in our imagination) very expensive outfits that we could never afford or had anywhere to wear, and then perhaps having an ice-cream. Beautifully observed.

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    • Thanks, Olga. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I think many people, especially young people, love to window shop. That’s probably why catalogs are so popular. Snacks are popular also. The bigger shops had what could be described as tea rooms for shoppers who wanted a snack or light meal. The big super markets have picked up on that. I used to go to one in the U.S. that sold snacks and had a salad bar. You could choose salad items and put them in a container to take home. 🙂 — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Amy. Kids have to learn how to spend wisely. They have to find out that money only goes one place if you don’t budget. It would have been an adventure plus a lesson. I’m so happy you liked the story so much. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  23. I remember that sense of feeling all grown up because I could afford to pay for a meal, and of course my amazement at how quickly money could disappear. In fact, I’m still constantly amazed at how quickly money can disappear!

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