THE INVITATION

 

Abandoned building, roger-bultot-2

Photo Copyright: Roger Bultot

We’re gathered here again this week. Now we’re sitting on virtual benches across the road from a virtual old deserted building near a downtown area. Our guide and hostess for this gathering is the gracious and talented artist and author, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. We’re the Friday Fictioneers, and the challenge this week, and every week, is for each of us to write an original story with no more than 100 words. It’s supposed to have a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt provided for the week. This week’s prompt was provided by Roger Bultot. Thanks, Roger.

To read the other stories from group members, just click on the link given below, then on the little blue frog in the blue box. The link for the other stories this week is as follows:

https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/4-december-2015/

Genre: Crime Fiction

Word Count: 100 Words

THE INVITATIONΒ By P.S. Joshi

The elderly movie star Steve had been interviewing all afternoon was a nice guy.

Greg Payton smiled. “Steve, you’ve been so pleasant, why don’t you let me take you to dinner?”

“Thanks, Mr. Payton.”

They drove downtown to a dilapidated building. Weeds were growing up to the door.

“Don’t mind the looks of the place,” Payton said. “I’ve eaten here often.”

He opened the door, and they entered. Inside it was empty with a streaked, stained, dusty floor.

Payton pulled a hunting knife, plunging it into Steve’s chest. He took out a large, strong, plastic bag from his pocket.

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60 thoughts on “THE INVITATION

    • Thanks, David. I’m so pleased you liked the story. The killer was originally supposed to be a vampire, but didn’t seem to like that idea, and convinced me to make him a serial killer like in “Silence of the Lambs”. I hardly think your dinner companions would do something like that. Just be careful with strangers. 😦 Huge Hugs back. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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  1. OK, first, I love the premise of your Friday Fictioneers group! I used to do all the challenges presented in the paper copy of Writer’s Digest years ago, because I do love the challenge of direction with restraints in place (in prose, fiction, poetry, music, etc.). Yes, writing whatever you like certainly has its merits; but the thrill of performing within parameters has never left me.

    Second, I agree with Yarn (above): nicely done. Is there a time constraint in place, as well?

    Lastly, Steve was dumb for going in there. I mean, c’mon, Steve. Look at the place.

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    • Thanks, Erik. The new picture prompt comes out every Wednesday, and we have until the following Wednesday, one week, to send in our story. Writers usually try to get them in as soon as they can so they’re not last, as those often don’t get many readers. It’s jokingly called addictive. Rochelle tries to read all of them and comment. Any one of the writers in the group can send in one or more pictures, and Rochelle chooses one each week. Sometimes she uses one of her own pictures. It’s a lot of fun. Anyone can write for the group. There are people from all over the world sending in stories. You’re welcome to join in if you like. You’re right, Steve was dumb to be so trusting when he saw the building. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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  2. Suzanne, That was an unexpected twist- Some of these new age restruants boast of unique locations and themes and I can see how Steve was fooled into going in there.

    But one thing doesn’t jive with the story …it’s in the second para. “β€œSteve, you’ve been no pleasant,” …did you mean to write “β€œSteve, you’ve been so pleasant,” ?

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    • Thanks, Deborah. I’m so glad my twist at the end was effective. It is a strange image. Sometimes I read other stories before identifying the picture. I’m still not completely sure about this one. Yes, it does set that kind of mood. — Suzanne

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  3. Dear Suzanne,

    Who would suspect an old respected movie star would turn out to be a murderer? Certainly not Steve. πŸ˜‰
    And thank you for not making him a vampire. I think vampire stories should be locked in the crypt.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  4. Thanks, Rochelle. You’re right. It may make take years, if ever, for anyone to suspect that old actor is a serial killer. With DNA testing though, it may be proved. By that time, he’ll probably have passed on. I realize vampires have been overdone. It’s getting harder to make them scary anymore by just writing about them. Horror films can still be scary because they set a mood using music and makeup. — Suzanne

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  5. Thanks, Russell. I remember Peyton Place. When the book came out, previous to that, some of the older kids at the high school I attended got hold of a copy and marked the “naughty” parts. It became very popular with some. That name, Payton Place, would be a fitting title for my story. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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  6. Thanks, Lore. Steve is young, and has made the fatal mistake of taking a person at face value. He’s far too trusting. In his defense though, Greg Payton is an experienced actor. Many people are taken in by serial killers because they seem so likable and helpful. They’re masters of the art of deception. I know this isn’t my usual style of writing. I like to experiment a bit. I’m so pleased you liked the story. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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  7. Thanks, Alicia. Yes, I realize this isn’t my usual style. I sometimes like to experiment a bit. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I was considering a vampire story, but that’s been done a lot. I don’t think my main character wanted that either. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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  8. I love it! I had a hunch when he said, I’ve eaten here often, and you did not disappoint. I did expec a vampire… but you’re right, they’re overdone. No mythical monster can be as scary as our fellow human beings anyway. Great experiment.

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    • Thanks, Gah. When I wrote the first pencil draft, I was thinking vampire so put that statement, “I’ve eaten here often.” in there. It fit the other change to mass murderer cum Hannibal Lector type also, so left it in..I’m really pleased you liked it so much. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Hugmamma. It seems I got everyone with this story. I started out with a vampire in mind, then decided to do something different. I guess it was “different alright. It’s not my ususal style for sure, but I’m experimenting. I’m really glad my surprise ending worked and you liked it. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Amy. I originally intended the bad guy to be a vampire, then decided on something different. I know, poor Steve, right. I’m glad I succeeded in the surprise ending, and that you liked the story. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Lily. I know it’s not my usual genre. I was going to write a vampire story, but then thought I’d done a lot of those, so decided on this one to experiment. I’m so pleased you liked it. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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    • Thanks, Teagan. I was thinking “vampire” then thought I’ve done a lot of those, so settled for this. I usually like to keep it light, but thought I’d see how this went. Sometimes I shock myself. I’m so glad you liked it. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

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