Photo Copyright: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Here we all are for another week. Today we’re standing on the virtual porch of an old Victorian house. There’s a beautiful virtual frosted window in the door. Our hostess for this weekly gathering is the talented and gracious author and artist, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. We’re the Friday Fictioneers group. Our challenge this week and every week is to write an original story with no more than 100 words not including the title. It’s supposed to have a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt for the week. This week’s prompt was requested by Kent Colby and supplied by Rochelle herself. Thanks, Kent, and Rochelle.
To read the other stories by the group members, just click on the link given below, then on the little blue frog in the blue box.
The link for this week’s stories is as follows:
https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2016/06/29/1-july-2016/
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 100 Words
THE MEMORY by P.S. Joshi
Many nights 10-year-old Maggie Wright had a recurring dream. She saw a frosted window in a Victorian door. she had no idea where the house was.
There were holes in her memory. She’d gone to live with her grandmother in Boston when she was three years old and couldn’t remember her parents.
She’d told her grandmother about the dream but the old woman just said, “Some things are better left alone.”
One night she opened the door in her dream. On the floor were the bodies of a man and woman. They’d been shot. Then she remembered.
A psychoanalytic take. Very nice.
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Thanks, Yarnspinnerr. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I think you might leave out the very explicit reveal at the end and just hint at what fills the holes in her memory (lovely line by the way)
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Thanks, Neil. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story, especially the line about “the holes in her memory”. Actually, the reveal isn’t exactly explicit as it doesn’t reveal “who” did the shooting. I appreciate your advice, though. If I lengthen the story in future, I’ll think about it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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How very sad. Not a memory you’d want to have returning.
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Thanks, Sandra. I’m pleased you liked the story. No, it isn’t a desirable memory, especially for a child. —- Suzanne
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Grandma was right. Great story, Suzanne.
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Thanks, Lyn. I’m pleased you liked the story so much. Yes, her grandma was certainly right. She was also no doubt worried it would all come back one day, which it did. —- Suzanne
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Great take on the prompt. Well done.
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Thanks, Alicia. I’m pleased you liked the story so much. 🙂 — Suzanne
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it would have been better if she had not recalled the memory, great post
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/06/frost-photo-prompt-rochellewisoff.html
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Thanks, IB. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story. Yes, it would have been better if the memory hadn’t come back, especially while she was still a child. I’ll be sure to stop by and read your story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Nicely told 🙂
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Thanks, Dahlia. I’m happy you enjoyed the story, thought it was told well. 🙂 — Suzanne
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🙂
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Yes. Some things are better left alone. And some dreams are better left forgotten.
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Thanks, Vinay. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story. Indeed, it would have better preferable for it not to have remembered, especially while she was still a child. —- Suzanne
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Grandma was right, but maybe now Maggie’s remembered she can work through it. Great tale!
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Thanks, Ali. You’re probably right. She now has support from her grandma and a longer time to adjust. I’m pleased you liked the story so much. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Poor child. Your story gives a glimpse into a much larger story. Well told.
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Thanks, Margaret. Yes, it was sad. I am considering turning it into a longer short story between 3,000 to 7,000 words,at some time in the near future. I’ve read the author Patterson is starting work on “novelettes” which would be about 7,000 to 20,000 words in length. They would be sold in places like checkout counters in various stores like the old pulp fiction magazines were. I think that’s a brilliant idea. 🙂 — Suzanne
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That sounds like a fabulous plan, Suzanne. Go for it.
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I agree with Margaret. You’ve opened the door to a much larger story. This would be a great opening for a murder mystery.
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Thanks, Russell. I am considering doing that. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I’m working on lengthening stories to between 3,000 to 7,000 words. If a writer wants to sell a story, I read about 4,000 words is a common, acceptable length. You might be interested to read what I commented to Margaret about the project the author Patterson is working on. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I’m working on a story that will end up somewhere between 20 & 25,000 words. People in this day and age have short attention spans and do tend to migrate toward stories they can read quickly.
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I’ve read information similar to that Russell. We all know people would flock to whatever Patterson wrote so he’s probably not a perfect example. All the best with your novella. People love humor. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Very haunting ending. Well done.:)
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Thanks, Susan. I’m so pleased you liked the story. Yes, it is haunting. It would be hard for a child to handle.—- Suzanne
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That’s one big horrible memory and probably best left unremembered. Nicely told. The ending was essential for me to convey the brutality of the memory that lurks within her mind.
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Thanks, Mick. I’m so pleased you liked the story, especially the ending. 🙂 — Suzanne
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OH, my. I think grandmother was right.
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Thanks, John. Yes, the grandmother was right. It’s probably better though that she remembered so she could get help. The dreams would just have continued. —- Suzanne
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🙂
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I started to think of Harry Potter and how he remembered that green light of the killing spell…
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Thanks, Bjorn. You’re right. He did have one of those recurring partial memories he couldn’t understand. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Shocking end Suzanne! Well done.
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Thanks, Louise. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the story, especially the ending. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Haunting story. The truth is if she hadn’t opened the door it would’ve come back to bite her in her adult life. Hopefully grandma will get her the help they both need. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I agree. It would be like opening an infected wound to clean it so it can heal. Hopefully, the grandma will get her professional help and they can both heal. I’m pleased you liked the story. —- Suzanne
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A touch of the profound, Suzanne. Nicely done. Yes, when we’ve managed to “un-remember” something, it’s best left alone. LOL, I used to say that I would wish for amnesia, except for the fact that I’d likely drive myself to distraction trying to remember what I had wanted to forget! 😀 Huge hugs.
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Thanks, Teagan. I know what you mean. It would bother me also if something was stuck somewhere in my memory and I couldn’t remember what it was. It would be irritating. I’m so pleased you liked the story. Huge hugs back to you. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Chilling, Suzanne. Well done.
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Thanks, Diana. I’m so pleased you liked the story and I achieved the effect I was trying for. 🙂 — Suzanne
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That’s the thing with memories – there is no escaping them. I love the very real feel to how the dream came in stages, first the door, and then when her curiosity was aroused, the reveal.
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Thanks, Siobhan. I’m so pleased you liked the story, the way I wrote it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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She should have listened to her grandmother – that’s one memory best kept behind a locked door! Good story, Suzanne. 🙂
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Thanks, Louise. She probably would have listened, but the memory forced its way to her consciousness. I’m pleased you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Interesting how the memory closes off those events that are too painful. nicely told Suzanne
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Thanks, RG. Yes, we hear about that happening quite often. It seems to be the body’s way of protecting itself. I’m so pleased you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Oh..how sad!
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Thanks, Dawn. Yes, it is sad, especially when it happened to a child. Hopefully the grandmother got professional help for her so she could recover. I’m pleased you liked the story. —- Suzanne
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Great story which ends with a bang (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun)! I like how you handled the repressed childhood memories, which is reminiscent of Rochelle’s character’s suppressed memories about another terrible event.
Well-done!
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Thanks, Vijaya. I’m so pleased you liked the story, the way I handled the memories. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Right out of Hitchcock (or could be). Great story, Suzanne. I, too, think that memories that keep haunting you do you less good than remembering and working through it. Otherwise, you’d feel something from your life missing, as horrible as it could be.
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Thanks, Gah. I agree, it would always be trying to surface and would be most uncomfortable. —- Suzanne
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I can see why she suppressed this memory for as long as she could. The frosty window has an eerie effect and works very well for your story. I got a chill reading it. Nice one, Suzanne.
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