Photo Copyright: C.E. Ayr
This story was written for Sunday Photo Fiction–January 29th, 2017. Each week the host, Al Forbes, provides or chooses a picture prompt. The challenge for each member of the group is to write an original story or poem with no more than 200 words, not including the title and inspired by the prompt. This week’s prompt was supplied by C.E. Ayr. Thanks, C.E.
To read the other stories written by group members, just click on the link below, then on the little blue frog in the blue box.
The link to the other stories this week is as follows:
https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/01/29/sunday-photo-fiction-january-29th-2017/
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 200 Words
THE PERFECT MAN by P.S. Joshi
When Dorothy started dating Frank she thought she really had a good catch. He wasn’t just handsome, smart, and educated but would inherit his father’s money.
“You should definitely marry him,” her mother said. “You’ll be rich one day.”
Her friend, Ruth, had introduced her to him. She seemed hesitant to do so, but couldn’t avoid it as they were all at a college picnic by the town river. Dorothy could never understand her friend’s attitude. It didn’t make sense. Frank seemed to have everything.
The only other thing she couldn’t understand were his disappearances. Every month he’d be gone for a couple weeks. When he came back he’d say nothing about it. She hesitated to ask and he never gave her the chance. He worked for his father so it didn’t matter.
About a year into the relationship, she began to have fears. One of his friends disappeared suddenly. The police found his body by some railroad tracks. His hands and feet were tied to his neck and he’d been tortured.
One evening in the paper Frank’s father was named as a gang leader.
When Dorothy told him she didn’t want to see him again, he broke her arm.
Oh, a nasty little tale, expertly written. I hope she gets away with a broken arm and nothing worse.
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Thanks, Iain. I’m glad you liked the story. Such a nice comment. The description of the body was similar to an old clipping my dad had saved from the 30’s. He’d known the guy. He worked for the mob and Dad said he thought the killers had the wrong guy so he couldn’t tell them anything. —- Suzanne
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Her friend at least suspected, I think. Shame she didn’t warn her. I hope she gets away from him.
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Thanks, Ali. I hope she gets away too. He’s a monster. Hopefully, he’ll tire of her and move on to some other poor girl. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Oh, I was hoping for a funny fishing story. This was dark and scary, Suzanne. Good job!
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Thanks, Diana. Sorry. I was probably in a dark mood yesterday. I didn’t think of a funny fishing story. I started writing and that was what came out. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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No apologies necessary! I enjoyed it 🙂
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Ow. That hurt. The ending was like falling off the roof. Nicely done, Suzanne.
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Thanks, John. I’m glad my shock ending worked. I’m pleased you liked the story. Since you write thrillers you might be interested in knowing I got the idea for the police finding the body from an old clipping my dad saved from the 1930’s. The police found a man’s body in that condition. My dad had known the guy, a small-time member of the mob, through a relative by marriage who was not a member. It scared my dad because he took the guy fishing one time and said he could have been killed as collateral damage if the mob was after the man. Dad said he thought the mob had the wrong guy, one who didn’t know the information they wanted.Those were dangerous times. —- Suzanne
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Just think of Jimmy Hoffa and One gets the picture.Thanks for the background, Suzanne. 🙂
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You did a good job, especially in such a short space, of drawing light to the fact that people can tend to ignore BIG red flags or dismiss them as “nothing” in order to hold onto the fiction they’ve created around a relationship. Your words say “The only other thing …” but the reader is saying, “That’s pretty darned big. Run!”
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Thanks, Erik. I’m pleased you liked the story so much. A person can ignore important danger warnings if they want to believe something else. I’ve seen it happen. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Very well done! I like the bit that hinted that the friend knew, but she didn’t really take note.
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Thanks, Sascha. I’m pleased you liked the story so much, especially the part about the friend. Sometimes we ignore warnings we should pay attention to. 🙂 — Suzanne
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YES!!! 🙂
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Not so perfect it seems. Isn’t life like that? II hope she can get away from him.
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Thanks, Athling. You’re right. Life is sometimes like that. I hope also she can get away from him. —- Suzanne
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ahh!! Glad it is just the arm. Things could have been worse.
Nicely done for the prompt.. 🙂
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Thanks, Prakash. I’m glad you liked the story. Yes, it could have been worse. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Just the arm, eh. Very well written.
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Thanks, Neel. I’m glad you liked the story. Yes, it could have been worse than her arm but she needs to get away from him somehow. —- Suzanne
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Like father like son – very bad eggs! I wish the friend had voiced her concerns. Well imagined and penned Suzanne 🙂
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Thanks, Dahlia. You’re right. She should have stayed away from that family and the girlfriend’s decision was misguided. I’m glad you like the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Shows there is no such thing as a perfect man. There is always something about them that is a problem, and this one turned out to be a big. one. Let’s hope she managed to get away from him before she went for a swim with the fishes.
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Thanks, Al. You’re right. You need to get to know someone and meet their friends. She should have questioned his times away. She should have also questioned her girlfriend more. I hope she gets away also. He’s dangerous.I’m glad you liked the story. —- Suzanne
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What a terrible guy. The friend should have spoken up before. Now it seems liked she’s trapped unless she runs away and goes into hiding? Maybe better tomfind a way to Off her husband?
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Thanks, Mandi. I hope she either hides or he tires of her before he kills her. Killing him even in self-defense is probably not an option as the mob would likely come after her. He’s the boss’s son. I’m pleased you liked the story. —- Suzanne
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I did. It bothers me she doesn’t have a way out. I guess this is where the white knight comes in?
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