Put that in your pipe and smoke it

A mysterious story from Jim and Tallis.

Tallis Steelyard


Gaspar Fishmart was an artist. Given the sort of people who call themselves artists nowadays I’ll be more specific, Gaspar painted pictures. They might be strange and occasionally disturbing pictures, but they were still pictures; in spite of the fact that he specialised in working with several different shades of black.

He was by nature parsimonious, which given his income was probably fortunate. It’s relatively easy to combine penury and parsimony.

He drank that ‘wine’ you can still buy in bottles with no label. You know the stuff? They make it by half filling barrels with the pomace left when the grapes have been crushed. The barrel is then topped up with water and a gallon or so of that cheap spirit they produce by fermenting sweet kitchen waste. The barrels are laid on rollers so that they can be easily turned to keep the contents mixed.

Not only did…

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