Nation’s hospitals prepare for influx of shell-shocked VBS volunteers

Hilarious but true.

bluebird of bitterness

From The Babylon Bee.

The waves of patients typically begin arriving in late June, and peak in July and August—thousands of panicked and traumatized Vacation Bible School volunteers who haven’t slept in a full week begin flooding into America’s hospitals. Overworked and outnumbered doctors, nurses, and hospital staff from California to Maine are reportedly clearing rooms and adding beds to receive the sizable influx of shell-shocked VBS workers.

According to one veteran nurse working in a Dallas hospital, the sights, sounds, and smells of the VBS workers returning from the front-lines are often too much to bear. “We lose a lot of interns and new doctors during the VBS fallout,” she says. “Just seeing one worker return with water balloon shrapnel permanently lodged in her limbs, or a VBS mascot who is indefinitely stuck in character, is enough to drive hospital staff out of the healthcare industry for good.”

“They’re coming,” says Elaine Cabrera…

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