Love Letters by guest author Jim Webster, A Blog Tour

Love letters Perla and Mayla were sisters. Born a year apart, they were the daughters of Tilford Wheelboom, a man of some means. They tended to divide their time between Port Naain, where the family lived in a delightful house in Dilbrook, and their summer villa on the coast south of the Estuary. They were, to put it bluntly, sought after. Not only were they pretty, charming and well educated, they were wealthy in their own right, having had money settled on them by their grandmother. This made them a little wary in company, as even attending a minor ball could lead to them having to decline two or three proposals. Eventually they hit upon a solution. They put it about that they were only accepting proposals in writing. Not only that, they added, somewhat pointedly, that they would judge the proposal on literary merit. They added that they would automatically disregard any proposal made by a different route. Overly ardent suitors discovered that ‘automatically disregard’ actually meant, ‘have the servants beat the offender with clubs.’ The system worked reasonably well. Proposals would come in and each girl would read the proposal and compare it to others they’d received. Indeed they both eventually sewed their proposals together to make a scroll which they could open up and browse. They claimed the format made comparisons easier to make. Now no sooner does one create a system than somebody else comes up with ways of subverting it. Potential suitors would approach poets and similar and ask us to write something suitably elevated. It isn’t a bad idea, and I wrote any number of different proposals for various people. They then copied them so that the lady of their choice did at least get the suitor’s own handwriting. There was some discussion amongst us as to the ethics of this practice. Some pointed out that we were attempting to deceive innocent young women. After all, if she accepted a proposal that I, for example, had penned for Creel Brosset, she would end up married to Creel Brosset. Thus she would soon discover he could barely string two words together with any confidence. Given that he was a painter I suppose he didn’t really need to, but that is perhaps beside the point. In response to the charges I merely pointed out that she couldn’t marry me in any case because I was already married. Not only that but the work paid well, and was not too taxing. Still, deploying the best writers money can buy, suitors laid siege to the two young women. But because of the nature of the contest, it was a very genteel siege and meant that they could still mingle in society, dance with single men and not have the embarrassment of turning down unwanted proposals. Indeed the system worked so well that weeks could go by without them having to instruct their servants to thrash somebody with their clubs. All in all I feel it was very satisfactory. Indeed because they were both educated and well read, and because they made a habit of studying the proposals seriously, they soon began to spot when the love letter came from a poet or writer of similar calibre. Twice I was stopped in the street by Mayla and congratulated on the quality of the letter I had just penned for her. Perla even went so far as to say that had she not known I was married, she would have accepted my proposal. I felt that was a very pretty comment and shows what a genuinely pleasant young woman she was. Needless to say, we didn’t share these comments with the various admirers. Eventually, after a number of years, both ladies did marry. Perla was the first to succumb to the blandishments of a particularly eloquent gentleman. San Fardust was the one who succeeded where so many had failed. His love letter was utterly different from those that had preceded it. Instead of dwelling on her beauty and charm, he pointed out that he was offering not merely marriage but partnership. His proposal included an investment plan, with a full cash flow and detailed budget for the next five years, assuming they merged their portfolios. Perla was so taken by this that she agreed to dine with him, and discovered that not only was he an excellent businessman, but he was charming and presentable. After a number of meetings where they discussed various options, pored over various potential investments and discussed the fluctuating market in commodities, she realised he was, literally, a man after her own heart. They were married and in spite of various hiccups due to unplanned maternity, a fall in the commodity market due to an inauspicious outbreak of peace in Partann, and the jealousy of lesser rivals, together they have taken their family to a situation of solid prosperity. Mayla waited only a little longer. She got a proposal for Ard Bendron. He sent his proposal written not on the finest paper, but engraved on a sheet of silver, with a note on the back, ‘sew this if you can.’ She felt that such originality deserved some reward, so she invited him to dinner to dine with her. Ard was nearly twenty years older than her and had somehow never married. Initially she was a bit reserved, but discovered that Ard too was shy. She initially intended to treat him as a confident, but slowly came to realise that she would struggle to find a better man. They were married and lived happily for many years, until finally Ard died. She stepped into the breach and took over as head of the family usury business, running it with considerable aplomb, whilst training her numerous children to follow in her wake. Of the various rejected suitors there isn’t much to say. They married other women and had better or worse lives than they would have had otherwise. The only one I would comment on was Creel Brosset. He was hired to illustrate the work of an expedition that was heading west and south to find and explore new lands. The expedition petered out inconclusively and Creel himself ended up on a modest tropical island. There his ability to paint was seen by the local inhabitants as blessing from whatever gods they worshiped. Instead of merely sacrificing him and then eating him, they took him to the tribe’s collective bosom. He somehow acquired a considerable number of wives and fathered innumerable children. He funded his ever growing family by producing paintings which travelled the long and difficult route to Port Naain. There, given that he specialised in painting attractive young ladies who appeared not to wear many clothes, (perhaps because of the warm climate,) he always got a good price. And the hard sell! So welcome back to Port Naain. This blog tour is to celebrate the genius of Tallis Steelyard, and to promote two novella length collections of his tales. So meet Tallis Steelyard, the jobbing poet from the city of Port Naain. This great city is situated on the fringes of the Land of the Three Seas. Tallis makes his living as a poet, living with his wife, Shena, on a barge tied to a wharf in the Paraeba estuary. Tallis scrapes a meagre living giving poetry readings, acting as a master of ceremonies, and helping his patrons run their soirees. These are his stories, the anecdotes of somebody who knows Port Naain and its denizens like nobody else. With Tallis as a guide you’ll meet petty criminals and criminals so wealthy they’ve become respectable. You’ll meet musicians, dark mages, condottieri and street children. All human life is here, and perhaps even a little more. Firstly;- Tallis Steelyard, Deep waters, and other stories. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07PTS3FGS https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PTS3FGS More of the wit, wisdom and jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard. Discover the damage done by the Bucolic poets, wonder at the commode of Falan Birling, and read the tales better not told. We have squid wrestling, lady writers, and occasions when it probably wasn’t Tallis’s fault. He even asks the great question, who are the innocent anyway? And then there is;- Tallis Steelyard. Playing the game, and other stories. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07PV1N7 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PV1N7XZ More of the wit, wisdom and jumbled musings of Tallis Steelyard. Marvel at the delicate sensitivities of an assassin, wonder at the unexpected revolt of Callin Dorg. Beware of the dangers of fine dining, and of a Lady in red. Travel with Tallis as his poetical wanderings have him meandering through the pretty villages of the north. Who but Tallis Steelyard could cheat death by changing the rules? If you want to see more of the stories from the Land of the Three Seas, some of them featuring Tallis Steelyard, go to my Amazon page at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jim-Webster/e/B009UT450I/ https://www.amazon.com/Jim-Webster/e/B009UT450I/ Tallis even has a blog of his own at https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com/