Photo Copyright: Ted Strutz
Here we are this week sitting near a ferry loading cars. We’ve gathered to discuss our original stories for the week. This is the Friday Fictioneers group. Our hostess for the gathering is the talented and gracious author and artist, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge for each of us this week and every week is to write a story with no more than 100 words, not counting the title. It’s supposed to have a beginning, middle, end, and follow the picture prompt for the week. This week’s prompt was provided by Ted Strutz. Thanks, Ted.
To read the other stories by group members, just click on the link given below, then on the little blue frog in the blue box.
The link for this week’s stories is as follows:
https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/23-june-2017/
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 100 Words
ONTO THE FERRY by P.S. Joshi
Myra’s mind wasn’t on the rain as the wipers whisked the windshield of the dark blue Honda. The line for the ferry crept forward and her hands clutched the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were bloodless.
I have to reach the deck before it’s full. I have to.
A horn sounded and she jumped then eased the car forward.
They’d find Greg’s body bludgeoned in self-defense and she’d be found guilty. In panic, she ran. The ferry meant escape.
There was a forceful rap on the window.
“Ma’am please stop the motor, unlock the door, and get out.”
Elegantly done. A perfect take.
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Thanks, Yarnspinnerr. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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“BUSTED!” She screams gleefully! Another murderer bites the cuff! Sorry, had to say that. Great story.
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Thanks, Jellico. In today’s court system she might be right. Even though it was self-defense, she shouldn’t have run. It made her look guilty of outright murder rather than self-defense. She might have also destroyed evidence that could have helped her. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Self-defense… that’s an entirely different story… GO GIRL! Hubby and have a thing we do whenever we witness the local constabulary/police doing their job whereby we yell cheers and thanks as we pass. Doubt they ever really hear it, but sometimes we get them to smile at us.
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Dear Suzanne,
Jelli took the words right from under my fingers. Busted indeed! Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Oh, Myra didn’t make it. Almost.
Loved the suspense, Suzanne. Well done!
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Thanks, Diana. Nope, they caught up with her. Hopefully, they’ll find her not guilty as she committed the killing in self-defence but she didn’t help herself by running. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Uh oh. I wonder how they caught up with her so quickly. Or, we could be jumping to a conclusion simply because they asked her to exit the car. Plenty of options here.
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Thanks, Russell. I was thinking of the police when I wrote it, but you’re right. I didn’t work out how they found her so quick unless maybe a nosey neighbor went next door to check, called the police, and gave information about the car, etc. What would we do without our neighbors? I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Typical. There’s always a queue when you need to make a quick escape after bludgeoning someone to death.
Great story 🙂
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Thanks, Ali. Isn’t that the truth? I’m happy you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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so close but no cigar.
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Thanks, Plaridel You’re right. It’s hard to avoid the police these days. Of course, I’ve never tried to. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Super story, Suzanne.
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Thanks, John for the great comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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🙂
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Nice build up in tension.
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Thanks, Cindy. I’m glad you enjoyed the story, especially the tension build-up. 🙂 — Suzanne
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She forgot her basics. Murder 101: Stuff the body in the boot of the car before making a getaway. But now she is busted indeed. Nice buildup of the tension.
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Thanks, Subroto. It sounds like you’ve read up on this subject. She could also have wiped down the area, making sure to get under things. It’s pretty hard, from the forensics shows I’ve seen on TV, to destroy all evidence. It would also be hard for a woman to move a man’s body. The police will see it wasn’t planned and that might help her. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Ooohhhh, yes! I’m with Russell, there really are plenty of options. The scenario itself is well-plotted. That ending line is a good one, too. Nice work, Suzanne! 🙂
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Thanks, Kent, for the great comments. I’m happy you enjoyed the story, especially the ending line. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I wanted her to escape!
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Thanks, Linda. I was kind of rooting for her myself. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I can feel her heart racing! Very nicely done.
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Thanks, Alicia. I’m glad I succeeded in making her fear real.and you liked the story. —- Suzanne
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She shouldn’t have run but she obviously panicked. Hopefully she’ll get a fair trial and it’ll work out that she doesn’t have to run for the rest of her life. Nice one Suzanne
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Thanks, Michael. You’re right. Hopefully, there’s a fair trial ahead for her. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Sometimes it’s better to be caught and face the issue right away than to spend years in dread. IF you’re innocent, that is.
.
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Thanks, Christine. You’re right. It’s better to face it if innocent. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I felt the tension. Simply brilliant.
My story – ‘An empty bottle’
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Thanks, Keith for your great comment. I’m glad you felt the tension and liked the story so much. I’ll go over and read your story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Loved the way it ended, Suzanne. A you can run but you can’t hide situation.
I like where you went with this prompt. Clever …
Isadora 😎
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Thanks, Isadora, for the great comments. I’m glad you enjoyed the story, especially the ending. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Sad happening, great telling.
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Thanks, Christine. It was sad but I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I’m amazed they caught up with her so quickly, but if she killed in self-defence she should be alright.
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Thanks, Liz. She probably had a neighbor she’d confided to in the past who heard yelling, saw her run out, and went to check. She would have described the car, etc. Hopefully, self-defence will be taken into consideration. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Well done, Madam! I loved the suspense, also wondered what she had done to be caught so quickly and now that I know it’s self-defense, want to smack her for not being up front… though in times of stress, one does silly things…
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Thanks, Dale. She shouldn’t have run but she panicked. If the police are efficient, they should be able to tell by looking at her and seeing bruises, finding a past history of injuries, and the crime scene that it was self-defence. A neighbor who knew her probably called the police and gave information that speeded up her capture. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Good tension!
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Thanks, Dawn. I’m glad you enjoyed the story, especially the tension. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I think that for self-defense it can work in her favor… and she will not be a fugitive for the rest of her life
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Thanks, Bjorn. You’re right. It should be found it was self-defence and she’ll go free. The forensic department should be able to find enough evidence to prove it. I’m glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Wow, you nailed it. Sucked me right in. Now I want to turn the page and read more.
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Thanks, Dayne for the great comments. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Some day I may extend it to a longer short story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Nice build of tension – white knuckles, internal dialogue – before that rap on the window spells the end for her escape plans. Beautifully done in so few words
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Thanks, Lynn for the great comments. I appreciate it. I’m glad you liked the story so much. 🙂 — Suzanne
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My pleasure 🙂
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