This is my contribution to Monday’s Finish the Story for this week. Every Monday a new picture prompt is given along with the first sentence to be used for the story. The story is to be written with only 100 to 150 additional words. I’ve bolded the first sentence given with the picture prompt.
The link for all other stories is as follows:
http://mondaysfinishthestory.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/mondays-finish-the-story-december-29th-2014/
Genre: Speculative Fiction
Word Count: 150+13+2=165 Words
DON FRANCISCO By P.S. Joshi
The house of Don Francisco sat in a remote part of the desert. It had been part of the large estate of the Don, a land grant from the crown in Spain in the 1600’s to his great grandfather, a conquistador or Spanish conqueror.
Don Francisco had an administrator and the estate prospered although no one knew how. No one knew the evil that visited there.
It was far from the closest town, and there were no herds of cattle. No cattle could have survived on that arid land. Nothing would grow. His children and administrator knew the secret, but no one else.
Once night was heard, “No-o-o-o, ah-y-e-e-e.” Wham. Crunch. In the morning, Don Francisco’s body was found torn apart, blood everywhere. His children quietly buried him in the desert and sold the property, traveling to Spain where they had relatives. The buyer was never disclosed, and the property stood empty until it fell to ruin. No one would go near.
Hmm…wonder what that was that got him? Good story! Thanks again for taking part! Stay tuned for next week… ^..^
P.S. Missing an s in the word prosper… 🙂
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Thanks Barb. I fixed the missing “s”. 🙂 I’ll be looking forward to next weeks prompt. I remembered a similar scene in “Faust”. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Ahhh….See you next week Suzanne!
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Yes, I’ll certainly look forward to next week’s prompt. 🙂 Thanks for the great prompts. 🙂
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Ah.. sooner or later Mephistopheles come to claim his price.. sounded like his children wanted to cut with their benefactor…
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Thanks Bjorn. Yes, you don’t make deals with the devil. It could be he wanted that spot left alone and somehow made it possible for the children to leave and go to Spain. Maybe it’s the location of the fabled gate to hell. 🙂 — Suzanne
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You create mystery and tension so well Suzanne, I did enjoy your take on the image. Well done. Best wishes for 2015.
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Thanks Summer. That looked to be some kind of U.S.government building as the flag is prominently displayed and the building is beautifully kept up. I did enjoy writing my story. I did a bit of research for that one. Thanks for the encouragement. Best wishes for 2015 to you also. 🙂 — Suzanne
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That’s quite mysterious, Suzanne. I think you’ve just started the story. 🙂 I think I would have moved away too if I were his family.
-David
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Thanks David. It would be a good hook for a longer story. I agree that it was best for his children to move far from there. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I wouldn’t go near the place either! I’m suddenly feeling sorry for the real estate agent!
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Thanks John Mark. You’re right. I wouldn’t go there either. Someone should put a fence and warning signs around it. Apparently the agent didn’t hear the stories. Happy Holidays! — Suzanne
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That is a tale that improves with the re-reading~The remote real estate is ripe for more rip-roaring adventures~Lovely take Suzanne~ 🙂
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Thanks John. I’m very pleased you liked the story. Yes, that’s a dangerous place and could cause more trouble. Happy Holidays! 🙂 — Suzanne
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Ooh, nasty end! Be careful who you make deals with, I guess – sooner or later they’ll come for you. I hope Spain is far enough away for the family to be safe!
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Thanks Ali. I think the children will be safe. They weren’t involved in the dealings and left the area. Happy 2015! 🙂 — Suzanne
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This is such an open story ……….. immense possibilities.
Great job.
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Thanks Yarnspinnerr. I’m so pleased you liked the story. I guess there is room there for a continuence of the story like evil returning to the spot and attacking someone who goes there or something. I’ll think about it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Marvelous and generous. That’s Don. Hugs.
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Thanks, Teagan. I’m happy you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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