Copyright: Barbara Beacham
This is my weekly contribution to Monday’s Finish the Story, hosted by Barbara Beacham. Every Monday, Barb supplies a new picture prompt along with the first sentence for the story. The original story to be written should have only 100 to 150 additional words. I’ve bolded the first sentence given with the picture prompt. Be sure to click on the little blue frog in the blue box to read the other stories.
The link for all the other stories is as follows:
http://mondaysfinishthestory.wordpress.com/2015/03/16/mondays-finish-the-story-march-16th-2015/
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 4+13+150=167 Words
AS THE GENERAL SLEPT by P.S. Joshi
A body suddenly crashed through a plate glass window at the Brigader’s house.
The general shot up like a broken bow string, immediately awake. His responses were sharpened by battlefield experiences. His wife just groaned and rolled over, still sleeping off the alcohol she’d consumed.
The party last night had been a triumph; the front room had been cleaned by the caterers before they left. The general could afford the best as his books about his battle experiences had been huge successes.
He rolled out of bed, slid his feet into his comfortable old slippers, and went to check the living room.
In front of the broken window was a body, bullet hole in the head, handgun nearby. The brigadier’s bodyguard was squatting alongside.
“He’s the one who sent threatening letters, sir. One of your troops who suffered from battle fatigue, and he was aiming at me.”
The general sighed. “Poor man. Wounded since then, and now he’s another war fatality.
Great take and very well crafted. 🙂
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Thanks, Yarnspinnerr. I’m so pleased you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I loved your story Suzanne! You wove this so well, that I could actually picture your words in my mind! Thank you for participating again in the MFtS challenge, and I hope that you return next week! Be well… ^..^
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Thanks Barb. I’m so pleased you loved the story and considered it well written. That’s so encouraging. I’m looking forward to next week’s story. You be well also. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thank you Suzanne!
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Nicely written!
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Thanks, Santosh. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Realistic & very believable! Nicely narrated 🙂
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Thanks, Anita. I’m so glad you found the story so realistic and enjoyed it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Great take on the prompt. It’s funny and also sad, “another war fatality.” I enjoyed reading it!
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Thanks, Joy. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading the story. — Suzanne
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I did. I always enjoy your stories. 🙂
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🙂
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Nicely done Suzanne I detected an air of sadness in the General’s voice.
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Thanks, Michael. I’m so glad you liked the story. You’re correct about the air of sadness in the General’s voice. I meant it to be there. — Suzanne
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Great last line!
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Thanks, Sonya. I’m so glad you liked the story, especially the last line. — Suzanne
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Compassionate story…war has never done any one any good!
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Thanks, Shivangi. I’m so pleased you liked the story. You’re right, war is truly terrible. — Suzanne
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Great comment by the general at the end. Too true.
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Thanks, Patrick. I’m pleased you liked the way the story was written, expecially the last comment. These things are all too true. We hear and read about a number of cases. — Suzanne
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Poor chap. I can see this happening to some people after years at war.
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Thanks, Ali. It’s extremely sad what happens to many people who see action in the military. — Suzanne
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A very empahic and sad description of the results of shell shock and battle fatigue ~ A great response Suzanne~ 🙂
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Thanks, John. I’m so pleased you liked the story. Shell shock and battle fatigue are indeed crippling to people in the military who have been in the fighting. — Suzanne
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A really well written story. Great take on the prompt. 🙂
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Thanks, A Fairy Mind. I’m so glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Nicely written, Suzanne. Wars claim far more victims than those who fall on the initial battlefield. You present the sympathetic general very well. A moving story.
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Thanks, Millie. I’m so pleased you liked the story. You’re right. Soldiers who see battle are often scared although it doesn’t show. I’m glad you liked my general. — Suzanne
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One more tale from the General’s diary! Nice one! 🙂 This has come up good.
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Thanks, Prakash. Yes, the General has many stories to tell. I’m so glad you liked the story. 🙂 — Suzanne
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🙂 Reading was a pleasure.. 🙂
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🙂
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You made an otherwise gruesome story less gruesome…and easier for the heart to read!
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Thanks, Rosanna. I’m so glad you liked the way I wrote the story. — Suzanne
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Great story and great ending. Fabulous prompt too…:)
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Thanks, Olga. I’m so pleased you liked the story, especially the ending. That “was” a great house wasn’t it. 🙂 — Suzanne
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You’re so good at this. Bravo!
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Thanks, Hugmamma. I’m so glad you liked the story. You’re very encouraging. I feel I should expand and write longer stories for lit magazines. These short ones are fun though. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Your story is bittersweet. The General, in his last line, sums up the problems vets face. Sadly, the suicide rate among veterans is well about the rate in the general public. More is being done for vets, but still, as the General said, “another casualty of war.”
Excellent take on the prompt.
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Thanks, Phylor. The problems vets face are terrible. Some enter service young and healthy and come back with terrible problems. Any kind of a war causes casualties. — Suzanne
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So very good.. I like how you made the persons real and human with both good and bad sides… very good.
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Thanks, Bjorn. I’m so pleased you liked the story, the way I wrote it. That’s very encouraging. 🙂 — Suzanne
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